


Maurice the red cell and other stories

by Knocksthemoutwithbear



Category: The 39 Clues - Various Authors
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Humor, Incorrect Quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knocksthemoutwithbear/pseuds/Knocksthemoutwithbear
Summary: 39 clues younger generation told through stuff my classmates say. After all, they're supposed to be in school, not escaping ninjas in Lesotho.
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1 : Maurice

**Author's Note:**

> Everything here has actually been said. By 10th graders.

Hamilton : Oh shit, I accidentally colored a cell in red.  
Jonah : How did you even do that ?  
Hamilton : I don't know !

*Later, at the microscope*  
Hamilton : HEY ! I found Maurice !  
Jonah : Who ?  
Hamilton : Maurice the red cell !  
Jonah : Remind me to never team up with you again.

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Teacher : Who was the invader ?  
Ian : A Roman ?  
Teacher : A Roman ? One ? In the IXth century ?  
Ian : Of course, the Roman of the Alps.

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Teacher : Who reconquerished Spain ?  
Natalie : The Roman of the Alps.  
Ian : Shut up.

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Fiske : If you type certain words on your phone like *gives examples* the CIA will look at you more closely/  
Dan : I'm gonna send al these words to you in a text.  
Hamilton : Wtf

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Teacher : All fairy tales are horrible ! May I remind you that Blue Beard slaughtered all his wives !  
Cara : That's still ok.

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Natalie : Did you hear about this "ugly sweater contest" ?  
Madison : Physics teacher and his horrible sweaters were waiting for this all year long.  
*Physics teacher walks by wearing a particularly ugly sweater*  
Natalie : He's going for the win.

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	2. Chapter 2 : Hair measuring

Amy : This is the thing that looks furthest to a mayonnaise I have ever seen. It looks rather dangerous. I do the cleaning up, you throw it out ?  
Sinead : Ok  
Sinead *comes back* : We had put waaay to much vinegar in that stuff.  
Amy *suspicioulsly*: How do you know ?  
Sinead : I tasted it. Not great.  
Amy : If you die, I'm not the one explaining it to your brothers.

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Nellie : We're gonna be late.  
Ted : It's just down the corridor. How much time do we have left ?  
Ned : Twenty minutes.  
Nellie : wE'rE gOnNa Be LaTe

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Madison : I'm so fed up, it's cold and Reagan is taking her time...  
Nellie : You're cold ? Close your coat, dammit ! You're impossible ! *closes Madison's coat forcefully*  
Madison :... Thanks Mom.

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Sinead : I don't think "no" is an elaborate enough answer.  
Amy : Wait.  
Amy : "The answer to the aforementioned question, designated by the Arabic number 3, is composed of two letters forming the word "no"".  
Teacher : What

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Jake : Have you ever measured your hair ?  
Amy : No.  
Jake : How long do you think it is ?  
Amy *pulls out a hair and a ruler* 25 cm.  
Sinead : My turn. 64 cm.  
Jake *tries*: 5cm. Ridiculous.

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Cara : Ok Boomer.  
Atticus : You can't say that !  
Cara : Why ?  
Atticus : Because the teacher is way too young to be a boomer.  
Cara : But I can say "Ok millenial", it's the same. He's too old to understand us.

§§§§§§§§§§

Erasmus : Tell me, do you come here to play rugby or to roll in the mud ?  
Dan : Bit similar, honestly


End file.
